Monday, July 4, 2011

Nigeria was the First Clue

Yesterday was a phenomenal day. The weirdest things in the world seem to happen to me when Dustin is gone. None of these strange events can happen when he's around, they all wait and fester until he's far far away. Anyway, on with it:

Yesterday I was taking a nap. Having gotten too much sun I was enjoying a nice Saturday afternoon nap in my nickers when I get a knock at the door. Usually on the weekends it is the annoying children down the street that want to play with Zero or show me their boo-boos. (Side note: I am the least maternal person I know, why do they come to me!?) So like most weekends, I ignored the first knock and slowly came out of my warm slumber.

Then I hear the doorknow trying to be turned. Now for those that have visited our Jacksonville, NC house you know how finnicky that doorknob is. A careful combination of pushing, pulling, pressure, and turning will result in success. Any alternative is failure... and they were failing. But who is trying to break into my house?

So I yell that I'll be right there, throw on some clothes, and open the door.

On the other side are three people: one marine, and two women. One of which was very, very pregnant.

Me: "Yes, can I help you?"

Stand there looking at each other for two seconds. Shock on their faces.

Non-pregnant girl: "What are you doing here?"

It was like talking to idiots.

"Is this house for rent?"
"Well, we're supposed to be moving in."
Me thinking they must have rented my home and my agent just hasn't contacted me yet. "Great, well it's a great house."
"Well, you need to get out of it."
"What? You are not moving in today. I live here!"

The whole time I'm talking to the idiot chicka, the marine keeps taking little steps forward and adding his own comments like "you need to get out" and "this is our house now."

So I called the police.

Then the whole story unfolds. They answered a fraud ad on Craigslist that listed our beautiful home for $700. Then they had all these emails showing communication between her and the "homeowner." They had negotiated the application and even a $50 pet fee. (Side note: $50 pet fee!? Are we tent camping here? No one has pet fees that cheap!) So they thought they had gotten this great deal of a house in this very nice neighborhood for $700 bucks!

So they loaded up all their possessions in a U-Haul truck and without ever seeing/walking through the house they show up at my door to move in.

The man they were in contact with had them Western Union the money to Nigeria because he is a missionary for the South & West Africa Mission or SWAM. (Hmm, close to SCAM?!).

So after the police show up (and another squad car joined him. Was one not enough? Are they THAT bored?), the whole story comes out, there are great tears, and finally after three hours they leave. U-Haul and all.

And I shake my head. Talking to them was frustrating. Like talking to a three year old. What about this do you not understand?! You were scammed!

Now get off my lawn.


  1. This is the strangest story. DUSTIN come home!!!

  2. Nana said, add this to your book. Start with Nicholas Sparks, this and in a very short time, your book will be as The Help has been for years. And you will dedicate this book to me.